Big Life

Solving Obvious.

April 27, 2016 · By Amy Swift Crosby

It’s easy to think that all the “good” problems have been solved. With thousands of apps populating our universe, many of us lean toward a feeling of apathy. With a market saturated with solutions, it can feel like everything interesting has already been designed, launched and “solved.” But there are so many problems – obvious ones – that have yet to see the light of a solution. Some of them are global. Some of them are local. World peace feels too pie in the sky, while local trash pick up feels adorable, but not very potent on the impact scale.

Yet we all want to do something. So what if we approached problem-solving (and business creating) from a more obvious point of view? What if we said: What’s close to me (in passion or proximity) that I can affect? What’s in my immediate world? What group of people – big or small – need me or what I know?

Not everything has to be a business. And not everything has to be a volunteer project. But it would be nice to know that at the end of our lives (not to be morbid), we left it all on the field. We wrung ourselves out with giving our gifts, and bettering other people’s lives. Within this benevolence there are needed boundaries and self-care – but if we spent less time thinking up dynamic, never-been-done-before ideas, and more time solving the obvious issues in our midst…healing, supportive hospital food, global access to maternal health, natural deodorants that actually work, meditation/calming resources for teens…to name a few out of thousands. We could make change we can see and feel.

Remember that some things are NOT obvious to other people – but once you know them, you can’t ignore them.

First step? Open your eyes. Someone needs you.

Wisdom.

April 19, 2016 · By Amy Swift Crosby

A portrait of wisdom. Captured by Face on a Train.

What’s the difference between being smart and being wise?

Smart: Crunching the numbers on a loan / Re-Fi / vacation / new car to share with your partner.
Wise: Knowing when to present that information when he/she can hear, digest, contemplate.

Smart: Identifying blind spots for your client.
Wise: Knowing how to contextualize them.

Smart: Understanding the science of opens, eyeballs, conversions, engagement.
Wise: Knowing that without art, none of it matters.

Smart: Working out, eating right, sleeping plenty, meditating.
Wise: Not freaking out if one (or all) don’t happen every day.

Smart: Watching / using your social feeds to move your needle.
Wise: Knowing they only move so much, so fast.

Smart: Bringing desired, substantiated deal points to the table.
Wise: Not using ultimatums to get them.

Smart: Anticipating roadblocks and raising them early with your team.
Wise: Inviting other people to co-author solutions with you.

Smart: Doing what you can to keep your natural glow, youth, juuuge.
Wise: Remaining recognizable, loving your laugh lines, not taking it too seriously.

Here’s to both, working together, in perfect harmony.

Happy Faces.

April 12, 2016 · By Amy Swift Crosby

I don’t like to compare the way men and women do things. I like and appreciate our differences, and I’m even good with most of our gender-specific approaches to things. But some thing is happening to us (women) that I need to talk through. Enter…

Exclamation points!
Emojis of any kind.
Prefacing.
Apologies.
“Maybe it’s me, but…”

Many of us are apologizing for having an informed, gut level, professional or otherwise valuable opinion. And we’re doing it in a way that is quiet, and a little bit insidious. It feels like we’re just being nice – but what we’re saying to our teams and ourselves is, our involvement requires a preamble, excuse or pardon. I don’t see men doing this.

Is it okay to not agree? Does delegating work require so much permission/explanation/exhaustion? Is a little debate cause for anyone questioning whether people like them? Yikes. Are we all getting that sensitive?!

Besides just being the right thing to do for better, clearer, more honest communication, the more each of us propagates this false sense of “don’t-worry-I’m-not-mad-but-I-feel-this-way” digital falsity, the more the rest of us sound tone def – as though we might be insensitive, too brutally honest, or my favorite…bitchy.

No. We aren’t anything. We are doing business, and kindly, respectfully putting thoughts into the world that will hopefully move something forward.

Let’s check our intention, then weigh it against the best and highest expression of the thing at stake. Then write emails/texts that mean what we say, without a giant mattress under each one lest someone on the receiving end have an emotional crisis and fall down. I’m all for thoughtful and considerate – but these have become everyone’s crutch (and expectation) and constantly feel like an unnecessary apology.

Get more creative. Articulate yourself. And remember that sentences end with a period, not a happy face.

Have a great day!
(And I mean it.)

Spirit Animals.

March 29, 2016 · By Amy Swift Crosby

Red Tailed Hawk? Gray wolf? Cheetah? Consider what you need - the animal should embody it.

Several weekends ago, I was at a meditation retreat at Kripalu with one of my teachers, David Harshada Wagner. Something continued to come up for me that I couldn’t resolve. It’s not overwhelm. It’s not busy-ness. It’s not too much. It’s more like – YES – I love all this good stuff coming my way – but I also need an extra me to ENJOY it. Besides meditation, I asked, how do I gain more agility? More stamina? More bandwidth? More everything?!?!

Many of you are in the same boat…especially if you’re living an Ensemble Life (see last week’s post.)

His answer was hilarious – he even laughed out loud saying it.

“You have a capacity issue. And while there are many ways to change that, an easy one is through your spirit animal.”

After fully enjoying how very West Coast that wisdom really is, we got serious. I’ve been operating as a gazelle – a light, bounding, quick-footed animal leaping through the prairie. And that was great for my 20’s and part of my 30’s, but now I”m a mother, an author, a grown daughter, a wife. Now I need the power, strength, foresight and leadership of…a lioness. Boom.

I have a feeling you’ve traveled a similar path.

As funny as it sounds, your energetic source material – the thing you channel in your day to day essence – really informs your ability to find capacity. What’s even more interesting, is it doesn’t look that different on the outside, but on the inside, the architecture shifts and expands.

What you may need is to slow down, to do more in less time, to get smaller, to get much, much bigger. Whatever it is, an animal makes it embodied.

Thanks for not thinking I’ve gone down a mystical rabbit hole today. Once in a while the woo-woo magic is pretty practical.

The Ensemble Life.

March 22, 2016 · By Amy Swift Crosby

I’m gonna give some love to Gwyneth Paltrow today. Hold the tomatoes please. I see a lot of love/hating about GOOP and GP’s seemingly impenetrable veil of superiority. But I view it and her differently. I actually think she’s doing a lot of things right, and I’d venture that she’s a lot more vulnerable than most people perceive.

Although we aren’t friends, what I see is someone living an ensemble life. Her interests are varied – to the point of nausea for some – but I think they are genuine. So she acts, she sings, she writes, she’s an entrepreneur, a style icon, a mother, a conscious divorcee, a tech leader, a beauty expert…a chef. Ok, it’s annoying but ONLY because most of us feel like…well, that’d be nice…easy for her…I coulda done that…big deal. And I think what she also may spark in some is a sense of under accomplishment. I know for me, when I see everything she’s able to do and impact, I feel a little like – am I living my potential? And, what else? What’s my next adventure? Side hustle? Interest? Investment?

So I’d like to say something without inviting too much negative mail – this can (kind of) be your life. I’m not saying that you too can rent this villa in Italy and the private yacht that comes with it with your Spanish speaking children and two-hours-a-day-workout-body if you just work harder, but, I feel like for a modern American woman, this TYPE of life is sort of possible — just taken down a few decimal points (basis points?!). It’s textured, interesting, multi-dimensional, adventurous, brave. Yah she’s got a lot of advantages, but who cares? She could sit back and enjoy being wealthy and gorgeous, with a few selective acting gigs. But she stepped out, threw her hat in the ring, and if anyone can say “good for you” its people like us – doing the same thing. GP is a solid muse for being unselfconscious about her ambitions, and really looking out at the world – and having it her way. I’m betting she’s having a lotttttttta fun.

Do your thing. Express. Write. Start. Join. Lead. Follow. Innovate. Make. Be who you want to be. Have hobbies, interests, ventures. Channel Richard Branson, Tim Ferris, the barrista who also tutors math, is a classical pianist, writes a blog about art and flips houses on the side. It keeps you engaged, interesting and walking the sh$t out of whatever path you’re on.

I’d venture to say this…is the new normal.

Tinkering.

March 15, 2016 · By Amy Swift Crosby

Here's to "productive", or "non-productive" putzing. Because it's all productive.

“I’ll be out in the garage” is a phrase often uttered by my husband on weekends. What exactly happens “in the garage”? Some days he’ll emerge having reorganized all of his bikes, surfboards, SUPS, kayaks, skateboards (shall I go on?), and other days I can’t tell if anything really happened. But I think that’s the point. It doesn’t have to.

And it’s why I believe in tinkering.

The guy gets to be alone, without an agenda, without the kids asking to play monster, or me asking about the status of the (insert chronic historical house problem here.) He gets to do no-thing, while doing some-thing, and think. But he gets to think without being charged with thinking. And he gets to use his hands and figure stuff out – work stuff out – build stuff out – without much attachment to an outcome or life-changing expectations. When else in your life do you tinker – with no strings attached? This is how problems are solved, ideas born. Garages are ideal, but there are other options, too.

I’ve solved client issues while building magazine collages with my girls. I’ve thought of short stories while washing dishes or cleaning out the spice drawer. I’ve dreamed up solutions to friends’ conundrums – personally, in business, in life – while weeding my vegetable garden.

My grandfather used to spend hours “down at the boat.” I’d see my grandmother roll her eyes at this, as we all knew the boat hadn’t actually worked in decades. But now I get it. And respect it.

Should we consider Intentional Tinkering? Conscious tinkering? LeanInTinkering? Tinkering Forward?

Someone stop me.