I don’t like to compare the way men and women do things. I like and appreciate our differences, and I’m even good with most of our gender-specific approaches to things. But some thing is happening to us (women) that I need to talk through. Enter…

Exclamation points!
Emojis of any kind.
Prefacing.
Apologies.
“Maybe it’s me, but…”

Many of us are apologizing for having an informed, gut level, professional or otherwise valuable opinion. And we’re doing it in a way that is quiet, and a little bit insidious. It feels like we’re just being nice – but what we’re saying to our teams and ourselves is, our involvement requires a preamble, excuse or pardon. I don’t see men doing this.

Is it okay to not agree? Does delegating work require so much permission/explanation/exhaustion? Is a little debate cause for anyone questioning whether people like them? Yikes. Are we all getting that sensitive?!

Besides just being the right thing to do for better, clearer, more honest communication, the more each of us propagates this false sense of “don’t-worry-I’m-not-mad-but-I-feel-this-way” digital falsity, the more the rest of us sound tone def – as though we might be insensitive, too brutally honest, or my favorite…bitchy.

No. We aren’t anything. We are doing business, and kindly, respectfully putting thoughts into the world that will hopefully move something forward.

Let’s check our intention, then weigh it against the best and highest expression of the thing at stake. Then write emails/texts that mean what we say, without a giant mattress under each one lest someone on the receiving end have an emotional crisis and fall down. I’m all for thoughtful and considerate – but these have become everyone’s crutch (and expectation) and constantly feel like an unnecessary apology.

Get more creative. Articulate yourself. And remember that sentences end with a period, not a happy face.

Have a great day!
(And I mean it.)