Whether a feeling is founded or not, useful or not, inner turmoil wreaks havoc. In the moment, the feeling is real, even if it conflicts with our sense of our highest selves, or even with the facts of a situation. It can be hard to rescue yourself.
When deeper worries come up in my own life, and so many of us are plagued with them lately, I’m surprised at how quickly and efficiently fear moves in to take over. The “what if’s” are catastrophic; the possibilities, dark and foreboding. While my exterior remains calm, inside I wonder where all these years of meditation, contemplation, belief…have gone. Shouldn’t I know how to not fall apart like this…by now?! (Read with all the judgment that question intends.)
But what I’ve noticed in myself (and others) is that while a kernel of faith or a regular practice of some type is the long game, it’s not usually what pulls me out of the dark in those moments riddled with acute anxiety. More often, the lifeline that appears in the most immediate sense is a wise being in my midst.
She says something like…
From here, the path tends to open up — a little light comes in. It’s usually just enough to start to see daylight in what can feel like a narrow hallway with walls closing in.
It isn’t a sign of failure that a long-held faith or other innate wisdom has failed. I can sometimes have a punishing view of this — as in — these are the moments where resilience should appear! Where is that ‘knowing’ when I need it most?
Rather, the embodiment of just the right voice at just the right time can be a living reminder of the potency of genuine human intervention — and a messenger from the very energetic force you’d hoped to tap within. Just because it isn’t coming from you, doesn’t mean it isn’t present.
We’ve all been there.
And will be there again.
Sometimes you’re the wise one; others the lost.
Being one… does not preclude being the other.
Most of us are both.